Â Â In the early morning of July 15, 1812, British General Ebenezer Henderson snuck his 500 man British army up to the edge of Uranus and launched what would become the most bloodless, forgettable battle of the War of 1812.
Â Â Yet this important battle has been mostly forgotten by history. However, the citizens of UranusÂ can never forget and have an annual day of remembrance.
How It Began.
Â Â On the morning of July 12th, at approx 7am, General Henderson sent multiple probes into Uranus. The residents were caught totally unaware. However, the alarm was quickly raised the moment the first probe was discovered.
Fighting men poured from the bowels of Uranus to defend her. Around the rim of the city, muskets bristled from the ramparts.Â
Uranus had a reputation of being an impregnable fortress, but on this day, it would be sorely tested
Soon after the alarm was raised, General Henderson ordered his cavalry to thrust deep into Uranus, but they were repelled by the courageous action of resident Kraig “The Kroger” Koger. His heroism is, to this day, is remembered in song. Who will ever forget haunting words of the ballad “To Die in Uranus is my dream”?
Soon, lunch time rolled around and General Henderson ordered some Wings to go from Chicken Bones Party Bar and Grill. That would be the turning point of the battle. Private First Class Steven Leonard, sensing an opening, decided to take a chance….but doing so would leave Uranus wide open.
To Be Continued…………….
In Discussions and Research with the great great great great great grandson of British General Ebenezer Henderson, ( Sir Jon Henderson of the Royal Court of Uranus, who still resides in Â theÂ HarboroughÂ district ofÂ Leicestershire, England) Â we have discovered that it was Ebenezer’s obsession with TastyÂ Beer and Beautiful Women that resulting in his army ultimately being defeated by the Legions of UranusÂ
We have all been there, right?