Meddling Kids Find Hole in Uranus

sinkhole copyURANUS, MO – Saturday afternoon a group of local kids were playing football in area farmer Nick Nickles’ field when they discovered a large hole. Mayor Louie Keen met with Deputy Mayor Brian Muench over growing concerns that a sinkhole in Uranus could affect business.

   The conclusion was reached to bring experts into Uranus to probe the hole. Engineering firm, Holdet, Walipea and Stroker began surveying the area. Extensive evidence reveals that the hole in Uranus is not actually a sinkhole, but instead a historic well.

  After countless hours in the local library with some renowned historians who are intimately familiar with Uranus,  Mayor Keen uncovered some incredible information about the well that confirmed his theory. In an announcement earlier today on the town square, Keen informed the people that the well would be decreed a historical landmark.

   As the story goes, on February 10th, 1887 five burly men began digging in Uranus. Day by day the hole got deeper and after 101 days of relentless work,  water was discovered. The massive amounts of dirt from the hole in Uranus was used as local building and farming materials.

   The depth of the hole in Uranus is yet to be determined, however city officials have contained the location and placed a sign warning gawkers to stay away.

“We should all be excited to find such a remarkable thing as this hole in Uranus,” Keen stated to reporters. “Right now, safety is a concern here until we can restore the area and set up a monument. We don’t want someone in Uranus to fall into the hole and stain the legacy of Uranus with bloody tales of gore and death. We have enough stains here as it is, thanks to the local Fudge Packing Union.”

The survey also produced some other positive and exciting news for Mayor Keen. The engineering company heading up the hole in Uranus discovered this specific area in Pulaski county is made up of soft terrain with little ledge rock, so laying pipe in Uranus will be easy. Keen, who has years of experience on the subject, was relieved. “The ease of laying pipe in Uranus is a big deal because all the utilities are underground.