Mayor Keen Unveils Plan to Protect Uranus
URANUS News Report– In preparation for the huge events to be held in Uranus over the next few weeks (Click Here for Events List), Mayor Keen has accepted delivery of a state-of-the-art police cruiser for the Uranus Police Dept.
A dedication ceremony is set for Saturday when Mayor Keen, along with Deputy Mayor Garbinski and Chief Marshal Dugger will be present to accept donations, in either cash or beer, to help defray the cost of patrolling Uranus on a regular basis.
Marshal Dugger was quoted as saying ” I love to cruise around Uranus and this new police car will make it easier to get in and out real quick” Later, he retraced those comments in favor of a tweet which read ” I love Uranus and all I want to do is Serve & Protect it”
Pastor Gas, of The Little Brown Church in Uranus, will be on hand to give the opening invocation and Deputy Mayor Garbinski will be on hand to run the hot dog hut.
When this reporter caught up with the Deputy Mayor, he told me “There are going to be a lot of Wieners in Uranus this weekend and I have to personally check each one for size and quality “
Mayor Keen added, “I hope you all come out to see these events, It’s not often people will get to see Midget Wrestlers in Uranus. You can find out more about these events by clicking here“
That was an odd thing to say since there was no place on the Mayor in which to click, but I have attached a link to said Newsletter about the events HERE