The Buzz of The Uranus Examiner

EXPLOSION CREATED BY URANUS EXAMINER

It’s gone viral! Yesterday’s announcement of the upcoming publication of the Uranus Examiner has spread well beyond the boundaries of Uranus and Pulaski County. Thanks in part to some resistance from local government, and a short story on KY3 news, the Uranus Examiner is now known nationwide.

News outlets across the nation have been quick to pick up the story from Uranus. The Uranus Examiner’s office has been flooded with requests for subscriptions from all over the world. Who would have thought that a short announcement in a small-town Chamber of Commerce meeting would spread as quickly as it has?

Uranus Examiner staff were overwhelmed, today, as their story was published in major news outlets across the nation and beyond. The Uranus Examiner and its editor, Natalie Sanders, have been mentioned in major news outlets from The New York Times and Washington Post all the way to the Seattle Times, as well as other countries like the United Kingdom and Canada. The story has also hit major online news outlets like Yahoo News and Bing.com News.

This is an incredible day for the paper that has yet to publish anything, but don’t worry folks, the paper will be here. The Uranus Examiner is planning its first publication in mid to late October. Watch for announcements.

In the mean-time, the staff is thrilled to announce that subscriptions are available for people living out of its coverage area, as well as advertising and sponsorships.

Below is a mockup of Layout of the “Supporters and Sponsors” Page….which are limited availability in our Inaugural Edition!

You can contact Managing Editor Natalie Sanders at Natalie@UranusMissouri.com

or News@UranusExaminer.com

or Ads@UranusExaminer.com

Thank You For Your Support

Uranus is #WINNING
With 63,000 votes cast, Uranus Missouri on Historic Route 66 was voted the #1 Tourist Stop in Pulaski County.
Only open for a couple of years, we are also one of the top stops on Route 66 in Missouri (for sure in the top 3)
This was only made possible by the great team we have in all of our businesses (expect for Fat Bob, he is extremely lazy)
We have a LOT of Major changes coming over the next 12 months. Those that we have announced include:
The Uranus AxeHole (just opened),
ESCAPE URANUS (escape rooms opening Sept. 2017)
The New Uranus Brewery (we have all the brewery equipment on the lot, just trying to get it all installed and start brewing)
The New Archery Range at Mission Outpost Outdoor Outfitters
The Uranus Wedding Chapel (yes, you can get married in Uranus)
WHAT ELSE IS COMING IN URANUS??
We have a few more things ready to be built and/or added, but we kinda got out of order in our building plans, so who knows what is next really LOL
Thanks to all our supporters for voting for us! We Love YOU as Much as we love Uranus!

RUSSIANS HACK URANUS!

RUSSIANS HACK URANUS!
HACKERS PROBE URANUS RELENTLESSLY!

Uranus News Report– The Uranus Intelligence and Security Agency has issued a statement today that Russian Hackers had infiltrated the Mayor’s personal Email account and was holding the account for ransom. The head of the UISA, Mike Shepard, stated that ” The Russians have found a back-door into Uranus and exploited it to get at the Mayor’s email account. They have made a list of demands that we must meet to release the account back to us”

Our reporter on the scene has been able to get a copy of the list of demands sent by the Russians

Dear Mr. Handsome Mayor,

For us to release email login credentials, you must do following

  1. Send to us, 453.5 grams fudge, fresh from Uranus. Send it weekly, what we want, we will tell you. MUST BE FRESH FROM URANUS!
  2. Uranus is causing global warming with massive methane gas leaks, You must control gassiness of Uranus
  3. You must provide our “even more” handsome President Putin with tourist visa as he wants to visit and explore Uranus repeatably and often

Sincerely,
Yukonal Fukov

Head of Russian Hackers

Russia Hacks Uranus When asked about the outrageous demands, Mayor Big Louie responded “While I appreciate the flattery, I don’t think that President Putin is more handsome than I. In fact, I may put my photo versus his photo in a “Hot or Not” contest just to prove who is the more handsome. This kind of outrage and false claims isn’t acceptable to the millions of people who love and visit Uranus. It is my job to protect and defend the reputation of Uranus, no matter how many times it is violated…..and Uranus is violated a LOT”

When contacted via world wide web electronic mail, Yukonal Fukov, the head of the Russian hackers said this “It was easy to find backdoor of Uranus. we probed Uranus repeatedly until we were able to slip in, just a little bit.”

Mayor Big Louie assured the citizens of Uranus that he had changed his passwords on all of his social media accounts and that it was guaranteed to be safe as “who would know his deceased father’s name and birthday?“

Putin responded to these allegations on his Twitter feed

More on this Story as it develops

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WINTER DRIVING TIPS

Winter weather is upon us, and as usual the forecast is for weather so cold that it could freeze Uranus off the map.

As you probably didn’t know, Uranus is located in such a locale that it receives the tail end of many winter storms, and as we all know, they can have a real nasty kick.

Uranus’ Very Handsome Mayor Big Louie tells travelers that “if you plan to visit Uranus and take in the sights, especially the world famous fudge factory located in the bottomland on the outskirts of Uranus, you’ll need to drive carefully to negotiate your way through some really nasty precipitation that could potentially affect Uranus”

Here are some winter travel tips for visiting Uranus.

  • Keep your wipers clean. The snow falls fast in Uranus, and Mayor Big Louie says you should make sure that you “get a clean wipe every time”.
  • Make sure you have new tires. You may have to put on the brakes fast if you see a traffic pileup, and you don’t want to leave skidmarks around Uranus.
  • Watch out for noxious gases. Even in the winter, Uranus is subject to periodic gas leaks, so be careful you don’t get overcome by fumes.
  • Don’t leave anything in Uranus. Big Louie says visitors are always welcome, but he cautions that visitors should always help Keep Uranus Clean and please don’t leave anything behind.

If you use common sense and drive safely you’ll have a pleasant visit to Uranus even in the middle of winter. And what could be better than visiting the World Famous Uranus Fudge Factory, where you’ll be served by the happy crew of Fudge Packers who really know their way around Uranus and can tell you everything about the fudge packing process.

It’s always exciting to visit, even when Uranus is Cold and Frozen……. because you never know what you’ll find when you visit Uranus!

For Example, we just got a Zoltar Machine…..Check it out